So, here is the story- I have waited 3 weeks to write about it for a reason- the memory is still pretty vivid, and since it wasn't all that fun, I have not been in a hurry to retell it, until now...
So, it's Monday, the 4th of April. I have some friends coming over to see me and bring lunch- I know, nice, right?! Well, my bathrooms had been needing some serious cleaning, and so I got to work scrubbing and scouring all 3 of them. I had been contracting for nearly a week at this point, but nothing consistent, though not pleasant either. I had only gone into labor on my own once- that was with Leah and I barely remember (probably a good thing). Anyway...Celeste had a friend over that day for a playdate as well- so my house was full- nice to take my mind off of those darn contractions.
Lunch was wonderful, and then I took Celeste's friend home. Dana came home from school and then had practice for a couple hours. I made dinner and barely ate- then tried to have Family Home Evening, but ended up in bed with the kids watching Wheel of Fortune and them having ice cream. When Dana got home, we told the kids that there was a possibility that we wouldn't be home when they got up, but Grandma would be. This freaked them out! They hated seeing me so miserable and were sad to go to bed.
By 9pm, I couldn't take it anymore, and they were coming more regularly. There is no longer an option to call the Dr. at night, they just say to go into the Labor and Delivery if you think you are in labor. I was afraid they were just going to send us home, and tell me to wait until my induction, 9 days later- but they got too intense, so out came my mom and away we went to the hospital. I packed lightly- thinking for sure I would be home in a couple of hours.
When we got off the elevator, I felt a little um, shall I say, gush as I walked. I didn't really think a whole lot about it until they asked me if I thought my water had broke. I said I didn't know what that felt like, so she quickly checked me and did a litmus test and sure enough- it had! I was shocked...completely shocked. Dana immediately emailed for a substitute for the rest of the week and we got checked in. Side note: The nurse had to stick me 4 times before my IV got in the right place- nice, huh?!
We got in our delivery room, and the Dr. on call said to labor on my own for an hour or two before getting the IV of Pitocin. The contractions weren't any worse than when I was at home all day, so I didn't really care. About 2am, she got me in bed and hooked up with Pitocin and then immediately the Epidural- so nice! No pain! I was feeling pretty good for an hour or so. She checked me and I still hadn't dilated from my 2cm and she was still very high up. I thought, no big deal, I will lay here and sleep with good drugs, and in a few hours, she will come down and we will have her. Yeah, nice thought.
Only, that didn't happen quite that easily. About an hour later- I had my first of 4 panic attacks. I freaked out. I honestly felt outside of my body and cold not control my emotions and just felt awful. I tear up thinking about how awful they were. I had one each our for the next 4 hours and each time the nurse and Dana would have to talk me down as I could do nothing on my own. I think it freaked Dana out too- it was not fun. Though I couldn't feel any physical pain, my mind was wrenching and I felt out of control in every possible way. I think it was because it seemed like I couldn't see the end from where I was in labor. I am not sure what I was thinking, but I was really nervous and scared- though she was doing fine and my BP didn't plummet like it did when I was having Celeste. Honestly, I thought it was the end for me.
Thankfully at 7am, the next Dr. on call came in and had a revelation for us- my whole water bag hadn't broke- it just tore- and so my body wasn't working the right way until the whole bag was emptied- so she did that for me. Things took off at that point. The vomiting began (happens every time for me), and the nausea would come in waves. Not fun, right? See, I had forgotten what that is like- I think it is a blessing, because I am certain I wouldn't have done this 4 times if I had remembered!! ha ha
So, right away my body takes over and I start to dilate. At 945, we call my mom, who has gotten everyone off to school and has Celeste. I thought she was coming to the hospital, but my plan didn't take off the way I had planned (see, more out of my control happenings!) Anyway, I push one big one and two tiny pushes and she is here. My mom missed it, of course, but Dana was wonderful. He cut her cord and took pictures. She scored two 9's on her APGAR test- which is very rare- none of my others got both 9's. She is perfect- 6 pounds 5 ounces and 19 inches long. She arrived at 10:16am- and then...more fun for me- well, not really...
I finally get to hold her, after more vomiting...and nurse her- she is a natural too. They want to bathe her and get her down to the nursery, but I can't watch, because I am too sick. Yep, I got worse. Right about this time, my brother stops by and is the first to hold her- I loved it. However, I can hardly breathe, because the panic attacks have come back and I am more nauseous than ever. I am telling you that nausea is my worst enemy. It racks me with such anguish that it is torture. Finally the nurse offers Phenergren in my IV. I am reluctant because I know it is so powerful and will just put me to sleep and I will be groggy for hours. However, I can't take it any longer, so within 2 minutes, I am completely asleep and remember very little. I remember being wheeled in a bed to my recovery room, since my epidural hadn't worn off in my left leg. I remember Renee and Angie and my mom in my room. I remember the nurse talking to me about all the rules, and I remember my eyes barely open. I was so drowsy and completely out of it. I slept. And slept. And slept away the yuck.
I woke up a few hours later in an empty room- Dana and my mom were watching her in the nursery while I slept. It was so nice. Soon afterward, my dad brought the kids up and Sean and Stephanie and the girls came too. Then my room was full!! Coming off the Phenegren takes a while, so I was still groggy most of that time. Everyone left after a short visit, and Dana took our kids home too. I was all alone with just the baby and I felt good. Besides that every hour someone comes in for her or me- but I was prepared for that. I cat napped that night and the next day too- then I came home on Thursday. I was ready- I thought!
Life with 4 kids is interesting. It's not bad...just tiring- having to have patience for all those faces that I love is challenging for me at times. I am working on it, and thankfully the children have more patience for me!!
Here is my new favorite picture of her from Easter Sunday- this face makes me love every minute of life with her- even at 4am....
